That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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