so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
