fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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