You made me cry and you don't even care
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
