This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize