When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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