Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
