she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
