But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
