Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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