what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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