Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
