Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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