It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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