I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize