He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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