So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
