Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
