everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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