ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize