I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
