Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
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