brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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