Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize