sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
