Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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