You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
