I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize