Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
