just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dignity is for republicans.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
