come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
