is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
