well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
