Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
