why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize