I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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