I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
