Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
