Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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