I need help removing her.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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