It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm bleeding and have questions
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
