what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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