her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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