for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I touched a dick in church today
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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