Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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