Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize