Me too!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
