I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize