so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
