we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
