Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is wine microwaveable?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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