I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize