Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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