Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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