I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
