we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
