you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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