call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
