i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
