I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
