the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
two words...techno handjob
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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