I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
