You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
