Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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