Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize