Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
