you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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