I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
