Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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