Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
