Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Randomize
